Wellness Wins Blog
Lynn Haber, Certified Wellness Coach
Welcome to the Wellness Wins Blog.
I’m Lynn, a wellness coach specializing in self-care, stress management and client-centered goal setting.This is a space where I share real stories, insights, and gentle strategies to support you on your wellness journey.Coaching reminds me of crossing a bridge. There are times when we feel stuck or overwhelmed, or maybe ready for a change but uncertain about how to take the first step. Coaching helps you move forward with steady, thoughtful steps from where you are now to where you want to be, while having support along the way.I’m so glad you’re here.
FROM THORNS TO ROSES: FIVE LESSONS ON SELF-CARE FROM A SPECIAL NEEDS MOM
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Alphonse KarrMy journey into wellness coaching begins with struggle. Looking back now, I see that it’s not only about the struggle—gratitude has become part of my story too.It wasn’t always that way. In the beginning, gratitude felt out of reach. But over time, remembering what I still had to be grateful for helped me through the most painful moments. For me, struggle and gratitude coexist, and I’m learning to be okay with that.I feel fortunate in many ways, even though the struggles of being a special needs parent can be overwhelming. These struggles have shaped who I am—someone stronger, more resilient, and more outspoken than I ever was before my older son became disabled after a common strep infection at the age of 10.The Dark Years: Self-Care Falls ApartMy husband and I often refer to the first few years after our son’s illness as the dark years of our family’s life. Practically overnight, our boy went from a high-achieving student to a special needs child requiring complex care and years of medical interventions.Like many parents in crisis, I gave everything I had to managing the chaos, searching for answers, and holding my family together. But in the process, I lost touch with my own health and well-being.I was fixated on helping my son and juggling hospital stays, therapies, and school disruptions. My own needs fell completely off the radar. I was in a constant state of anxiety, stress-eating sugary junk food, gaining weight, and letting go of the routines that once recharged me. Negative self-talk took over as I grieved the loss of our “normal” family life.Eventually, I hit burnout. I realized that self-sacrifice isn’t sustainable. That’s when I began taking small steps to reclaim my energy, health, and life.From Burnout to BreakthroughThrough clean eating, exercise, and learning to manage stress, I found a renewed sense of strength—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.I even began running 5Ks, thanks to a running coach who guided me step-by-step. At first, I saw myself as a couch potato. But I started to imagine myself as someone capable of doing hard things. Crossing that first finish line was a moment of empowerment and joy I’ll never forget.I also began spending time around people with positive energy—some of whom were also special needs parents. We encouraged one another to prioritize our own care, even on hard days.Eventually, I connected with another special needs mom who was also a therapist. Together, we started a support group for parents of children and adults with neuroimmune conditions. It was there that I saw, over and over, how many of us were not just overwhelmed by our children’s health struggles but by our own neglected needs.This inspired me to formally train as a wellness coach and launch my own business in 2024.Why Do We Put Ourselves Last?As a support group leader, I’ve seen so many parents struggling in the same way I once did—caught in crisis mode and unsure how to prioritize their own care. I often ask: Why do we do this?Yes, time is limited. But I believe guilt plays a bigger role.We feel guilty for resting, exercising, meeting friends, or reading a book when our child is in crisis. But what I’ve learned is this: when I began focusing on my own well-being, it helped my son too. He began to sense that I was calmer and more grounded. Life got a little less hard.We all have our own journeys. But here are a few key lessons I’ve learned about self-care:Lessons I have learned to live by1. Reframe the story—see the roses, not just the thorns.
Self-care starts with mindset. Instead of thinking, “I don’t have time for a walk,” I began telling myself, “Getting out for a walk will recharge me. I deserve this.”2. Self-care is not selfish—it’s leadership.
When we take care of ourselves, we’re modeling the behavior we want our kids to learn.3. Self-care can be tiny.
Even five minutes matters. A short meditation, stretching, making tea, or listening to a favorite song can reset your whole mood.4. Joy and sadness can coexist.
Even while feeling sad about my son's struggles, I gave myself permission to enjoy life and do things that I love. Letting go of the guilt was liberating.5. Growth lives outside your comfort zone.
My first 5K happened while my son was hospitalized. It was hard but running became a habit, and eventually, a source of strength. Self-care isn’t always convenient or easy, but it’s always worth it.From Thorns to RosesWhen our children are sick, there’s so much we can’t control. These are the thorns we live with daily.But self-care is within our control. And even the tiniest baby steps toward caring for ourselves can make a real difference. That’s when the roses start to bloom.
